Trimming down the list…

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:49:18 GMT

I made some major friends list cuts today. In most cases, this isn't anything personal. This has always been a place where I freely express myself on a personal level and I like to keep my list limited to folks that I communicate with regularly in this format and those I know fairly well.

In the rare case where this IS personal, I will make the comment that taking someone's locked entry and sharing it with those who don't have access is a violation of the most disgusting order. I think it's really sad when people have to invade the privacy of others, titter behind their backs and otherwise indulge in behavior that is catty, pathetic and two faced. Being more of a fan of confronting things in a straightforward manner, my response to them is below.

For everyone else, I apologize for the drama and urge you to skip the rest of this entry. If you were never involved in TMS, it doesn't apply to you in any way whatsoever.

A couple of days ago, someone chose to take a locked entry regarding me shutting down TMS and share it with people I'm no longer in contact with. Worse than that, I was terribly misquoted and the entry was clearly used to make a point that had very little relevance to my original message.

Helly, as you have the emotional depth and communication skills of a rock, I'm neither surprised that you took the entry out of context or that you did such a pathetic job of trying to paint me out to be the bad guy.

This didn't have to happen...it really didn't. Don't be fooled...this has been coming on for a long time...Adora was sick of this place and hates Taylor...

From her latest LJ...
I've given it well over two years, but I just couldn't keep it up anymore. Watching it slowly fade away, traffic dwindling and struggling to keep it going based on the failed career of a musician that I don't even like anymore and haven't for a very long time.
I can't keep fighting when the subject of the site is doing so very little to maintain the interest of his fans. But I find comfort in feeling that I honestly did my best and now, I'm just ready to move on to bigger and better things."

Ban me..what the hell do I care

I love how you ignore the majority of the entry, which talks about the friends I have made through that community and how difficult it is for me to shut down. I love how your interest in taking a jab at me supersedes everything else I said, not to mention your utter lack of consideration for the people reading that thread. Did you think about them? Did you consider that I don't know, maybe I didn't mention my personal feelings about Taylor because it was IRRELEVANT and UNNECESSARY? That perhaps the goodbye thread where you chose to post your charming little message was positive for a reason, which was to spare the feelings of innocent members as much as possible?

Probably not. Yet another reason why I see you as a bitter, selfish old bitch and one that I'm quite grateful not to have in my life anymore.

Beyond that, what was the point of saying what you did? Regardless of reason, I have every right to choose what I do with my own web site and when I choose to shut it down. And guess what? Even if Taylor dislike WAS my only motivation, I would STILL have every right to close the site. And it wouldn't make me a bad person either.

Maybe you missed the point all along, but this was never something I was obligated to do. It was something I did because I CHOSE TO and something I kept open a solid year AFTER I lost interest in Taylor, because the people were more important to me. But there comes a point where you can't do it forever and if it becomes too stressful to keep up with, it's not anyone else's choice or right to say what you do with it, who you give it to you or if you would rather go ahead and close. That I chose to involve other people in that decision at all was out of respect for them, not because I had to.

As someone who chose to jump ship months ago, when my initial solution was one that you didn't like, your personal opinion on this subject is fairly irrelevant to me. The fact that you can lash out at me after seeing firsthand how much I dedicated myself to that site for so long, how I did my best to support you and every other person involved, how I defended people like you and your friends tirelessly, even when you were causing me a ridiculous amount of stress and drama… well, that says a lot more about your character than it does about mine.

And the thing is… I never did anything to wrong any of you. I don't understand why your opinion of me as a person or how you choose to treat me is based on what I am and am not willing to do with my own website or my involvement in a fandom that is such a trivial matter in the real world. I don't know why my worth is directly related to the amount of loyalty I'm willing to show some random musician, but if you see even one person through that filter, I feel very sorry for you. And it's good to know that the measure of my friendship was based on how much I was doing to further the career of someone who couldn't give a shit about any of us, really.

I'm done with this. Take your little shots at me. Trash me all over the place. Paint me as the worst person ever through your little filters and do your best to convince everyone possible that regardless of the years I devoted to that site and everyone on it, I'M the selfish one. Have fun with that… Your backhanded bullshit and nastiness, your manipulations and your catty behavior. It doesn't concern me anymore. I don't intend to have any further contact with you, nor will you get a response from me ever again.

Closing TMS has done the best thing possible in a way, because it showed me who my real friends are. And there's nothing that can convince me that I wouldn't rather have real friends that are interested in me as a complete person, than fake friends who only pretend to like me when I'm conforming with their shallow agenda. Those that really matter to me won't be affected by whatever you do anyway, so knock yourself out. I guess anyone would need an extra hobby with all of the free time this fandom allows.

I'll leave this entry open so you can select the most damning quotes possible to misrepresent me, without the inconvenience of someone having to copy and paste on your behalf. Cheers!

Introspection, Geekery and Fandom Love...

Trimming down the list…